so early

so today woke up a 2:00 and cleaned my romm all day until about 5 then i started making plans with alia 'til she canceled on me(:/) then i went to the mall wiht leah instead. we spent like an hour and a half there and at the very end i fell in love with these shoes that were like black knitted and boots that came half way up my lower leg they were $80.00 and I REALLY REALLY LOVED THEM. but in the unfortunate event my mother was nad and wouldnt come near the shoes and so that means i couldnt get the ten extra dollars i needed to pay for them so i couldnt get them. then after that i came home and ate alot because i have surgery to go into tommrow (at 5:30 which means a 4:30 am wake up call) and i cant eat in the morning. then i had to pee in a cup so that they could make sure i wasnt pregnant. yeah right. then i talked to jake for a awhile and tryed to sort things out and we're both feeling the same way but neither of us know what to do. fuck that. the only thing that maybe might work for us is an open relationship, but even that i dont think will work. its so hard. espeacailly when you still like someone soooo much.

loves, laur